Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
