He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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