i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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