69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
