She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Come share oat with me in your robe
i think i just lost a toe
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
