So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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