he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Randomize
