when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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