Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
