white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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