8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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