Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
