you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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