Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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