She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
