Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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