Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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