thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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