my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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