I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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