hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
