You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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