found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
