he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
