The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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