I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
