Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
