Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She bit a glass in half.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
