am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
