I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
