I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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