dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Randomize
