the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I touched a dick in church today
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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