Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
