His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Found the puke drawer
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
