he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
