Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize