nut hugger
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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