I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
