This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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