Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
