She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize