Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
