He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Go christen that room with your naked body.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
