I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
