Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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