End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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