My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
