Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize