Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
