It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
