I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
