Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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