go do what you do best...puke behind churches
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize