Sponge bath it is.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
