You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
