I didn't shave. On purpose
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
