I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
